Always and Forever, right?
by rachel2502
Summary: Everything happened in Season1 and 2.In Season 3, Haley comes back but Nathan isn's as quick to forgive her. Will true love come through or was always and forever a lie?
1. I Love You, I Just Can't Trust You

"I understand if you don't love me anymore" Haley said.

She slowly got of the bed and made her way to the doorway, her heart breaking with each step.

"Always and forever", she heard him say.

She stopped and turned around. He was sitting up and staring at her with a pained expression.

"That's what sucks, Haley. I still do love you", he shaked his head in despair. "I always will".

Haley puts her hand on her throat and looks at him, longingly.

"I just can't trust you."

----------

"I want us to be together", she said, looking at his face, illuminated by the bonfire.

"Why", he winced at her hurt expression. "I mean, we're so far away from… who we used to be. Why even fight for it?".

"Because I love you", she said, simply.

He looks away. He wished it was that simple. But it wasn't. Nothing ever is.

"Well, listen, basketball season's coming up and I'm… I'm gonna concentrate on that. So, you should do your thing, whatever it is; school, music. Something other than me", he said, finally looking at her in the eye. "Because,… I really don't know when I'm gonna be ready for us again". He shrugged. "Or even if… I'll be ready for us at all".

"Oh, Nathan, don't say that, god!", Haley yanked at her hair, distraught.

"Haley, I'm not saying it to be mean, ok? I don't like hurting you. I'm just trying to be honest", he said.

She stared into space, barely moving. She wished she could turn back the clock and erased what she had done. She wished she never Chris Keller and that she never went on tour. She looked at Nathan and wished she didn't love him so much.

"I'm gonna head back", Nathan said, uncomfortably. "Alright?".

He walks off, leaving her to consume in her own grief. She looked after him before shouting "Nathan".

He turned around.

"I'm not going anywhere".

----------

"So, instead of an annulment, I've looked into a divorce", he looks at the ground, then straight ahead, anywhere but at him.

He keeps on walking, then he turns back and realizes that Haley had stopped.

"I've called my lawyer so you should call yours too", he said.

"What-", she broke off, shocked. "What are you saying?".

"I'm saying that we should make it official... Our separation", he said.

"Nathan? You can't... I- I love you", she said.

_It's a dream. It's all a stupid weird dream. I going to wake up and laugh about it with Nathan, my husband, the most important person in my life_, she thought, desperately.

"Haley..", he said, pleadingly.

"No, Nathan! This isn't the way it should be. I-I won't...I-I can't", she said, the tears coming down now, her shoulders heaving.

Nathan , without thinking, without hesitation wraps his arms around her. She leans her head against his shoulder. He held her as she cries.

"I can't lose you", she cries softly.

Nathan tightens his grip on her. _Why?! Why is everything so hard?!_, he shouted in his mind. He looked down at the crumpled figure in his arms. _Can't I just forgive her and get over it? I need her more than I need my pride_.

She finally stopped crying and looks up into his face. She wanted to say something meaningful, something that would get make it all okay.

"I'm sorry. I thing I got snot on your shirt", she croaked out. She mentally slapped herself for her lack of intelligence. She looked down so he doesn't have to see her embarasement.

"It's okay", he lifted her chin up so they could see eye to eye. "It's all going to be..".

"Well, well, if it isn't my son and his wife. I mean ex-wife", they broke apart.

Dan Scott. The Grinch himself.


	2. I Gave You My Heart

"So, Nathan, have you told Haley about your decision?" Dan asked, his eyes burning with hatred at Haley.

Nathan looked at Haley, then at his father. He nodded mutely.

"Good. Now Haley can get together with that rock star she left you for" Dan said, smiling at the two of them. He turned around and left. There was no need to stay. The damage was already done.

"Nathan" Haley started.

Nathan turned to look at her coldly. His whole demeanor had changed when he heard the word 'rock star'. Just like that, he was reminded of the pain Haley had caused him.

"Just call your lawyer, James' and with that he followed his father's lead and walked away.

-----------

Haley strummed a tune on her guitar while she sat on a couch in her apartment. She tried to follow the tune with another one but she couldn't. Giving up, she dropped the guitar onto the floor and curled up into a ball. She hadn't been able to play or sing, let alone create new songs since her conversation with Nathan earlier that week.

She closed her eyes and tried not to cry as the memories of Nathan came streaming back. She tried to block it out, block him out but she couldn't. He was the biggest part of her life, maybe the only part and now he wasn't even in it.

There wasn't a day since she left on tour did she regret her decision. She wished she could turn back the clock but she couldn't. All she could do was pray that he would come back to her.

She hadn't even called her family lawyer yet. If she did, then her separation with Nathan would seem more real than ever. She didn't want to lose him. She loved him, more than anything in the world.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She opened her eyes and stood up. Walking to the door, she thought that the person on the other end was most likely her roommate Brooke who had most likely forgotten her keys again. She opened the front door and stared at the person opposite her with shock.

"Uh…Hi" she managed to stammer out.

Nathan didn't say anything. He just stared at her intently. They looked at each other in silence for a moment before he interrupted in.

"Can I come in?" he asked, looking down and breaking eye contact with her.

"Su-sure" she said, uneasily.

She moved a few feet from the door to make way for him. He walked inside nervously, looking around his old apartment. She turned around to face him after she had closed the door.

"So, what's up?" Haley asked, stuffing her hands into her pockets.

Nathan was about to answer when his eyes came to rest on a pink spot in the wall. His eyes darkened.

"You decided to keep that?" he asked, jerking his head at the wall.

Haley looked at the wall and her heart started beating very fast.

"Yeah, it- um…it wasn't my decision" she said, staring at the wall. The whole spot was looped off with black tape. On top of that black tape, Peyton had written love.

"It doesn't look like love to me" Nathan muttered.

Haley's heart sank. She looked down on the floor, trying not to show him how much that comment hurt. He looked at her and said "I decided that a divorce was actually a bad idea".

Haley looked up at him expectedly. "I think so too. I still want to be with…".

"Because an annulment is so much easier" he interrupted her.

Haley looked at him in despair. "Nathan, we can work it out. I love you" she said, desperately.

Nathan ignored her and looked down. It was then Haley noticed the briefcase he was holding. He leaned down, opened it and took out two sheets of paper.

"All you have to do is sign" he said, handing her the papers.

Haley was shocked. She grabbed the papers and looked through them. He had already signed them. All he needed was her signature. She remembered the first annulment papers he had given her. She hadn't signed them, she had simply written 'I love you'.

Haley looked at the man she loved. He was staring at her with no love in his eyes, just anger and hate. _I love you so much, Nathan. Can't you see that?_She willed the tears not to fall as she grabbed a pen off a table nearby and signed the papers.

He looked surprised when she handed him the papers straight away. He looked through them trying to collect his thoughts. _She didn't care. She didn't even bother to fight for me, for us!_

He looked up and they stared at each other, their differences forgotten for a moment.

He stared at her, hating her, hating her for leaving him, hating her for making him love her so bloody much!

_Always and Forever, Nathan. _Well, it was a lie, wasn't it? Everything she had said was a lie!

She stared at him, trying to block out that deep sadness in her heart. She wanted more than anything to be in his arms one last time.

_Don't say I never gave you anything, Hales. _Well, she gave him his heart back. She gave him his freedom. But one thing he would always keep was her heart.

"Goodbye, Hales" he said, turning around and walking away. He pulled the door open and walked out, slamming it behind.

Haley waited until she could hear his car leaving. Then she fell to her knees and cried until she thought her heart would break.


	3. Dealing With Loss

Haley leaned her back against the kitchen counter, curled up in a ball, still crying. She had been sitting there for hours now. The sun had set and the whole apartment was in darkness for she was too drained to get up and switch on the lights. She looked around the apartment, watching the shadows when her eyes fell on a photo frame Nathan had left in the apartment when he moved out.

It was the picture of the two of them on their wedding day. Haley's eyes filled up and she bent her head down and started sobbing again.

"I'm sorry" she cried, her words muffled. She let out a sob. "I'm sorry". Her body started shaking as she once again started crying.

The noise and laughter coming from outside the apartment finally made her stop. The front door opened and Brooke and Lucas came in, laughing and talking very loudly. She squeezed herself against the counter, hoping that they wouldn't notice her. Brooke reached for the light switch and the whole apartment was instantly brightened.

"Do you have any soda?" Lucas asked Brooke, making his way to the fridge.

"Um…I think so. Try the top shelf" Brooke said, walking towards the coat closet to stuff her coat in.

Lucas opened the fridge and grabbed two cans of soda. He turned around and jumped when he saw Haley hiding behind the kitchen counter.

"Haley! Why are you hiding there?" Lucas asked, walking towards her. He noticed her puffy eyes and her tear stained cheeks. "Oh, Hales" he said, softly kneeling on the floor beside her.

"I'm fine" Haley said, wiping her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

"What happened, Hales?" Lucas asked, wrapping his arms around her. Haley leaned her face against his shoulder and started sobbing again.

"Hey, Luke. You hungry?" Brooke asked, walking back to the kitchen. "Haley?"

Haley raised her head and looked at Brooke who was standing over her with concern.

"Aw, Tutor Girl, what happened?" Brooke asked, squatting on the other side of Haley.

Haley took a deep breathe, trying to calm herself. She pulled away from Lucas.

"Nathan brought the…annulment papers" Haley started. She stifled back a sob. "And I signed them". She looked down, not trusting herself to speak anymore.

"Oh, Haley" Brooke sad, giving her a hug.

"I'm fine, Brooke, really but I'm really hungry" Haley said, forcing a laugh.

"I'll go buy us some food" Brooke said, standing up and grabbing her purse. She made her way to the front door and just before she left, she turned to look at Hales. "You going to be okay, Hales?" she asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, thanks Brooke" Haley said, unconvincingly. Brooke looked unsure.

"I'll watch over her, Brooke" Lucas said, putting his arm over Haley's shoulders.

As soon as Brooke left, Lucas asked "You want to talk about it?"

Haley shook her head mutely, staring into space.

"I'm here, okay, Hales" he said, hugging her.

Haley buried her head into Lucas's shoulders and started sobbing again.

"It'll be okay, Haley. It'll be okay" Lucas said, soothingly.

"He's gone, Luke" she cried. "He's gone".

--------------------

"Hey, where's Haley" Brooke asked half an hour later when she returned with plastic bags filled with junk food.

"Oh, hey Brooke" Lucas said, standing up and switching off the television. "She's sleeping".

Lucas helped Brooke carry the plastic bags to the kitchen counter, while looking through them.

"You got 10 cartons of Ben and Jerry's?" Lucas asked, dropping the plastic bags onto the table.

"Well, yeah! Major heartbreak equals major ice-cream. Dude, don't you read Teen Girl?" Brooke asked, carrying the ice-cream to the fridge. She stuffed them disorderly into the fridge then walked back and surveyed her handiwork.

Lucas grinned then said "Anyway, I'm going to go and check on Nathan. See how he's taking this".

"Oh my God! I forgot about him" Brooke said, slapping her hand onto her forehead. "You should go now before he tries to kill himself again".

Lucas chuckled then said goodbye and walked out of the apartment. As he closed the door, he remembered the number of times he had been in that apartment in the past few months trying to console Nathan or at least get him to eat and sleep. He realized that Brooke might not have been kidding when she said 'before he tries to kill himself again'.

------------

Nathan looked down at the water. It looked so peaceful, so calm. He wondered if he would ever feel that way.

"I've been looking for you" Lucas said, walking up to him. Nathan didn't answer. They stood together in silence upon the bridge, the moon shining above them, providing the only source of light.

"I heard about the annulment" Lucas said, breaking the silence.

Nathan still didn't answer. He ignored Lucas and just continued to stare at the water.

"Hey, man. You okay?" Lucas asked, looking at his younger brother with concern.

Nathan looked at Lucas and it was then Lucas noticed the empty look in his brother's eyes. Nathan looked back at the water, then without warning, he leaped up onto the railing.

"What the hell are you doing" Lucas shouted, grabbing onto him so he wouldn't fall.

"Come on, Luke! Try it! Woohoo!" Nathan exclaimed, not even bothering to balance himself.

"Get down, you idiot!" Lucas said, holding onto him. Nathan leaned towards the water and would have fallen if Lucas had pulled him back. Nathan tripped backwards and whacked his head against the floor of the bridge. He exclaimed in pain when his head connected with the floor.

"You okay, man?" Lucas asked, walking towards Nathan and kneeling next to him.

"She's gone, man" Nathan said, not bothering to lift his head up. "She signed it and she's gone".

"Come on, Nate. Get up" Lucas said, holding out his hand to Nathan. Nathan ignored it and lifted up his head. He looked away then back at Lucas.

"She's gone, Luke" he said, helplessly. Then he held his head in his hands and cried.

-----------------------

"Hey, how's Nathan?" Brooke asked when Lucas returned an hour later.

"Not good. I had to take him home. Deb was there so I let her take care of him" Lucas said, sitting down next to Brooke.

"Haley hasn't woken up yet. Should we be worried?" Brooke asked, biting her lip.

Lucas was about to answer when they heard footsteps coming from the bedroom. They looked up and saw Haley walking towards them. Her eyes were puffy and she looked a mess but she had finally stopped crying.

"Hey, you. You okay?" Lucas asked, walking up to her.

"I'm fine. Thanks you guys" she said quietly. She walked over to the couch and sat down next to Brooke. Lucas sat on the coffee table, opposite her.

"Any time, Haley" Brooke said, patting her on the back. Haley didn't say anything for a moment. Then, she said, still looking down "I made a decision".

"About what?" Lucas asked her, surprised.

Haley looked at Brooke then at Lucas. Then she said "I'm going back on tour".


	4. Unrequited Love

**Three months later**

Haley smiled at the crowd as she finished her song. She looked out at the thousands of people cheering for her and her heart broke. She was on top of the world, had everything she could ever dream of and she was unhappy. She smiled again at the crowd, took a bow and exited the stage.

"Haley! You've done Chris Keller proud" Chris said as he swept her up in a hug. He had performed right before her but he was waiting back stage for her to finish her song just like he always did.

"Thanks Chris" she said, smiling up at him. In the past few months, he had been her savior, her rock. He put up a wall with other people but he always broke it down with Haley. He was secretly in love with her but she always thought of him as a replacement for Lucas, even though she would never replace Lucas.

"What's wrong, Haley?" Chris asked, noticing her forlorn expression.

"Nothing" she said, brightening. "Can I talk to you for a second?" she said, her expression serious.

"Okay" Chris said. Haley walked down the hallway and entered her dressing room with Chris in tow.

Haley motioned for Chris to sit in one of the chairs which he did while she remained standing.

She stood staring at him for a moment, and her thoughts immediately drifted to what seemed like a lifetime ago.

_If you wanna go, then go. But if you leave me, we're done._

"Haley, are you okay?" Chris asked when he saw Haley's pained expression.

"I'm fine" she said, breaking away from her thoughts. "I have to tell you something Chris and I don't think you'll like it" she said, cautiously.

"There's isn't anything Chris Keller can't handle so shoot Haley" he said, freely.

"I'm moving back to Tree Hill" she blurted out.

Chris jumped out of his chair. Haley backed down. "You can't be serious?" he said. Noting the serious look on her face he said "You are serious. Haley, are you out of your mind?!" he exclaimed, waving his arms around to prove his point. "Don't you remember what you said to me when you came back here 3 months ago? You said that there was nothing left for you in Tree Hill! Why would you go back?" he raged.

Haley took a deep breathe then said "Because I want to complete my senior year". She hoped he would believe her. She spent hours rehearsing what she was going to say to him but she was a hopeless liar.

"So, get a tutor while you're on tour!" he said.

"Chris, my future is here with this tour. I just want to spend a bit more time being a kid before I enter this scary adult world okay?" she said, looking down, not meeting his eyes. If he saw her eyes, the gig was up for he would know that she was lying.

chris let out a frustrated sigh. "Don't do this, Haley. Not after all the hard work we've done".

"Chris, I need you to understand…" she started.

"Is this about Nathan?" he interrupted. "Do you want to go back and see him?".

"No, it's not about Nathan" she lied, waving her hand in front of her face to dismiss the whole idea.

"Good because he doesn't want you, you know that Hales".

Haley nodded, looking away but this time was because she didn't want him to see the tears in her eyes.

"I'm going back, Chris. I made my decision already" and with that Haley walked out of the dressing table, leaving Chris alone.

Chris looked at the door that Haley had just slammed before looking at the mirror she had stuck some photographs on. A smile fell on his lips when he saw that most of them were pictures with him and Haley on tour. His smile turned into a frown when he saw the picture of her and Nathan on their wedding day.

He didn't hate Nathan. He just envied him for having Haley in his arms at one point of his life. Haley was the only person Chris had ever loved and he wasn't going to let Nathan take her away again. He was prepared to fight for her if that's what it took. The thought of Haley finally being his brought a smirk on his face.

Talk about unrequited love. 


	5. Always?

Haley stepped out off the car nervous. She smoothed her hand over her hair, wanting to look good. She caught her reflection in the rear view mirror. Not bad for someone who had just driven a thousand miles straight without a stop. She looked up at the small building in front of her. The memories started playing in her head like a movie. The apartment inside that building was where _he _had proposed, where they had stayed together, where they had broken up.

She took a deep breathe then made her way up the stairs and to the apartment number 11. She stood in front of the door, calming her nerves. _Well, it's now or never,_ she thought as she knocked on the door.

She heard someone talking loudly inside then some scrambling and the door opened and revealed Lucas.

"Haley!" he said as his eyes widened in surprise. Then a smile came over his lips as he swept her in a hug. "I've missed you buddy".

She was amazed at the sheer power of the emotions that had passed her as she clung to him. She had missed him, he was her best friend, the only one she had left that linked her to her past and the person she used to be.

"Haley!" someone shrilled from behind him. Brooke pushed Lucas aside and hugged Haley tightly, while talking non stop.

"Hey, Tiger" Haley said, her mood instantly brightened.

Brooke separated herself from Haley and the three of the stood regarding each other as a pleasant silence filled the air.

"Well, don't just stand there, Tutor Girl. Come in" Brooke said.

"So, the two of you are still non-exclusive?" Haley asked as she sipped the hot chocolate in front of her.

Lucas groaned and Brooke laughed.

"Yeah, I think it was a great idea from the start if _someone _would participate" Brooke said, nudging him in the ribs.

"I don't see a need to" Lucas said, kissing Brooke on her cheek. Brooke blushed and leaned more comfortably against him.

Haley averted her eyes partly to give them some privacy and partly because she no longer could watch happy couples anymore without crying anymore as they reminded her of how much she missed _him._

"Guys" she said, interrupting their moment. "I wanted to tell you something. You know about the reason why I'm back here".

Brooke and Lucas exchanged a look before turning their attention back to her.

"I decided to try again with Nathan" she said, forcing a laugh. "I mean I still love him and I think he feels the same so…" she shrugged helplessly, not knowing what else to say.

Brooke looked at her sadly as Lucas stood up and sat back down next to Haley.

"Hales" he said gently, putting his arm around her shoulders. He couldn't bear to see her hurt and knowing the pain she would go through was enough to make him lose it.

Haley looked at Brooke then at Lucas. "Guys?". She trembled a bit. The heat from the radiator couldn't be working. She was so cold. Goosebumps started forming on the arms and she tried to warm herself up but the only way she could do that was in his arms.

"I'm sorry Hales but you can't do that" Lucas said, holding her tightly.

"Why- why not?" she said, her voice barely audible as she prepared herself for whatever they were going to tell her.

"He's married".


	6. Pray With Me

Haley stared at the waves, slowly crashing into one another as the gentle wind blew in her face. The sun was setting and the heat of the afternoon would soon fade, leaving her devoid of warmth and comfort. She shivered as she stared at the beautiful sunset but all she felt was emptiness.

Lucas watched her from afar. She was a lone figure sitting on the sandy beach, her shoulders hunched over making her seem even smaller than she was. The jumper she wore seemed too big on her and for a moment, Lucas was transported in time. For he didn't see seventeen year old Haley James, the big rock star. He saw Haley James, the little kid that used to be pushed around and teased by other kids because she was so small. Lucas's heart clenched as he immediately felt protective of her. The small kid sitting on the beach, her face blank yet her eyes reflecting pain and loss beyond her years.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about her. Truth was, he was scared of what would happen to her. He knew how much she loved Nathan and God help her if she would ever be ok. As soon as she heard the news, she has run out of Brooke's apartment in tears. He was glad that he had finally found her but he was frustrated that he didn't think of looking at the beach until hours after she disappeared.

"Hey, kid" Lucas said, walking beside her and sitting down. "You okay?".

Haley acted like she didn't hear him for a moment. She continued gazing out at the sea, a lone tear escaping her eye. She turned her gaze at Lucas for a moment then shook her head for a moment to answer his question. "No" she murmured softly.

She returned her gaze to the sea, its long stretch making it seem like the sea and sky were one. In eternity, unbinding, it would remain one.

They sat like that, in the sand for a long time in calm stillness only broken occasionally by the sound of the crashing waves and the gentle wind blowing gently in their faces. She would remember that moment forever, the moment where even of it was just for awhile, they could pretend it was just them against the world and nothing else mattered. The moment when she remembered a time when she relied on him and only him. When she didn't even know meaning of heartbreak or true love.

"It's just over that ridge" she suddenly spoke, interrupting the silence.

Lucas looked at her confused. "What is?".

Haley took a deep breath, praying that she wouldn't start crying again. "The place we got married" she said, her voice barely audible.

"Oh, Hales" Lucas said, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. Haley leaned against his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably.

"How could he get married?" she cried, letting out her pain and sorrow as the tears fell freely from her eyes. "How?".

Flashback

Nathan smiled at his reflection, making sure he looked okay as he run past the shop windows, carefully making his way through the throngs of people but barely slowing down. He couldn't stop, not now. Not when his dreams were so close, when she was so close.

He stopped suddenly, the momentum of his abrupt halt nearly making him fall over. He stared at the little purple flowers in the florist windows, a grin forming on his face. He ran inside the shop and moments later, exited with a bunch of flowers in his hands. He practically sprinted all the way to his old apartment and nearly feel over a few times, the image of her laughing brown eyes and bright blond hair in his mind.

He was so happy, happier than he had been in months. In fact the last time he had felt like this was the last time he had held her in his arms. Because he had decided that being with her was more important that his stupid pride. Being with her was more important than anything else in the world.

He ran up the landing, beads of sweat forming on his face. He brushed them away and stared down at his black shirt and blue jeans, hoping he looked okay. Satisfied, he jogged to the familiar door, the number 11 gleaming in the sunlight. He knocked rapidly hardly able to contain himself.

After what seemed like an eternity but in reality only a few seconds, the door creaked open. Nathan craned his head to see who it was opening the door. He was surprised to see his brother, Lucas standing behind the door, a shocked look on his face.

"Nate! What are you doing here?" Lucas asked, his eyes darting back and forth nervously.

"Is Haley here?" Nathan asked, ignoring his question. When Lucas didn't say anything, Nathan eager to see his wife pushed past him into the apartment. He stood in the middle of the apartment, looking around, the excitement in his eyes slightly dimmed as he took in the empty apartment. He had been so sure that Haley would be home.

Nathan waited until Lucas closed the front door before asking "where is she, man?". Lucas opened his mouth to speak but the sound of the bedroom door opening cut him off. Nathan quickly turned to look at the person emerging from the room. His face fell when he saw Brooke walking into the living room. She stopped short when she saw Nathan. Her eyes quickly darted to Lucas, her mouth slightly opened in shock at the sight of the flowers in Nathan's hand.

"Nathan" Lucas started. Nathan swung around and gave his half-brother a look.

"Where is she, Luke?" he asked although he had a pretty good feeling he knew the answer. The look of hope and love died in his eyes and all that was left was a helpless man.

Lucas and Brooke exchanged a look. _Don't tell him _Brooke mouthed to him. Nathan looked at the two of them before saying to his brother helplessly "come on, man. I have to know".

Lucas ignored the warning look Brooke shot him and said in a strangled voice "she left".

The flowers Nathan was holding fell to the ground.

Nathan held on to the railing as he hoisted himself onto it. He stared out at the river underneath him, its still and calm waters mocking him, beckoning to him. The darkness of the river, hiding the dangers below. But what you don't know can't hurt you. Nathan's grip on the railing loosened as he fixed his gaze on the peaceful water.

"Planning on jumping?" a voice called out behind him teasingly.

Nathan's head turned around to face the source of the voice. Peyton stood behind him, a playful smile playing on her lips. The smile disappeared when she noticed the tears in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her eyes lighting up with concern.

"Haley left again" he muttered turning his attention back onto the river. Peyton muttered a curse before she ran over to him and pulled him away from the railing. Nathan flinched at her touch and brushed away her hand.

"Nathan, don't. It's not worth it" she said, gripping his arm.

"Yes, she is" he said softly, the slight movement of the river reflected in his eyes.

"Just talk to me. Get of the railing and talk to me. I'll help you" she said, near tears. "Just don't jump".

He couldn't hold back the tears. It flowed out of his eyes as he choked back a sob. He turned his attention away from the river and faced Peyton, the tears streaming down his face. "Doesn't she love me, Peyton?" he asked in a strangled voice.

Peyton choked back a sob and nodded. "She does, Nate".

He shook his head, his heart breaking for what seemed like the millionth time. "Then, why does she always leave?"

The tears started falling down Peyton's face. "I don't know, Nathan" she croaked out, not letting go of her grip on his hand. "Please, just get off".

Nathan turned to face Peyton, as something clicked in his mind. A new light suddenly flashed in his eyes as he remembered something that had happened not long ago.

"_Haley! Haley" he yelled as he shut the door behind him. He walked quickly into the apartment and glanced around. Every inch of that place was covered with a different memory of them. He didn't have time to ponder, he had to save his marriage. He saw movement in their bedroom and hope flashed in his eyes. He fast walked to the bedroom door._

"_Haley?" he called out. _

_His heart stopped when he saw Taylor come out of the room. He held his breath as he looked at her with anticipation._

_Taylor shook her head slightly. "I'm sorry Nathan" she said. "She's gone"._

_At that point, he wouldn't have even noticed if his heart had stopped because it seemed to break. The pain in it was constricting him, making it hard for him to breathe. He looked down at the floor, not wanting to look around the apartment and see her not in it. He was vaguely aware of Taylor walking away and leaving but he didn't care. Everything he had cared about was right now walking to the bus station, a suitcase in her hand and a heart filled with dreams. Dreams that did not include him._

_He suddenly noticed something on the side table near the bedroom door. He walked over to the table and picked up the bracelet. He shut his eyes in pain as he held it in his hand. _

_Taylor stood in the doorway staring at him. The guy her sister had broken. She wished she could do something to help him but the only one that could help him now was the one that had caused him the pain. So Taylor James walked away, just like she did everything she made a mistake. Just walk away because it was easier than dealing with the trouble._

_Nathan didn't know how long he stood there, his hand clutching the bracelet, his eyes shut as he tried to blank out his mind. Tried not to think about her. Tried not to care._

_He turned around after what seemed like an eternity and the first thing that caught his eye was the wedding wall. He walked over to it calmly and stared at all the picture taken during their reception. But the picture he stared at the most was the big picture of the beautiful girl. The girl he loved. He always wanted his future daughter to look like her. He never told Haley but he always wanted his daughter to look exactly like her. The beautiful girl in the purple poncho serving coffee in the café while giving hopeful glances at the piano in the corner. The beautiful girl in white, holding his hand while reciting her wedding vows. The beautiful girl with the beautiful voice that had broken his heart._

_Filled with anger, he spun around, looking for something, anything he could hurl at the wedding all. Anything to take away the blinding pain in his heart. When his eyes fell on an object, he nearly smiled. Because not only was that object her most prized possession, it was the thing that had tore them apart. The thing that had cased him this searing emotional pain._

_He grabbed the keyboard and hurled it at the wedding wall. The sound it made when it connected filled him with satisfaction. He looked at the keyboard as it smashed and fell on the floor, causing many other objects on a table nearby to fall too. _

_He couldn't take it anymore. He collapsed on the chair behind him and rested his face on his hands. And the tears came flowing out._

_It wasn't until a few minutes later did he lift up his head, his eyes filled with a new fire. He quickly stood up and made his way to the front door. Once he was outside in the cool night air, he started running. He ran and ran until he thought he couldn't breathe anymore. He hit a rock with his foot, stumbled and fell on the ground, his head connecting the hard surface of the road. Ignoring the pain in his head and the blood trickling down, he shot to his feet muttering 'Haley'._

_He continued running until he saw the familiar station ahead of him. He ran inside, stopping only when he reached the ticket booth._

"_Excuse me, sir. Has the Wreckers tour bus left yet?" he asked the guy standing in the ticket booth._

_The guy looked confused, then he asked "You mean the bus loading all that music equipment?". Nathan nodded quickly. "Nope, but it's supposed to leave anytime now" the guy drawled out._

_Nathan didn't wait for the guy to continue talking, he ran past him down the stairs leading to all the buses. He ignored the guy shouting after him "hey! You don't have a ticket. Security! Security!". _

_He saw a bus with a banner across it, the Wreckers spelt out on it in big bold letters. Without hesitating, he ran to the bus._

"_Haley! Haley" he shouted as the engine of the bus started. He could see her sitting on a seat near the window. She was facing the window so it was a wonder she couldn't see him. He continued running even as the bus started moving slowly. "Haley!". He was reaching it, another few feet and he could reach out his hand and touch it. He could see her face, he might have been dreaming but he was sure she was crying._

_His heart sunk when he saw his wife cry. He was so fixated on her sad face that he tripped for the second time that day and fell on the floor._

"_No!" he screamed as he saw the bus pick up speed and leave. "Haley!" he screamed again. He got to his feet but it was too late, he would never catch it. _

"_Please get off the bus, Hales" he said softly. He sunk to his knees in despair. "Just get off. Please just get off". _

_The bus picked up speed and whirled around a corner out of sight. But he continued saying "just get off" over and over again, on his knees as the blood trickled down his forehead. Even when security came and took him away, he didn't stop saying his prayer._

_But she didn't get off it. _

**Should I keep going?**


	7. What Matters The Most

"Do you know the exact time that I knew?" Nathan asked, breaking the silence between them.

Peyton took a deep breathe and wiped away the tears that had escaped her eyes earlier. She was so relieved that she managed to convince Nathan to get off the railing that she had started sobbing. The contained pain and anguish she knew he must be going through seemed to have escaped into her heart and soon she was crying her heart out. Nathan just looked at her and walked away from her, away from the bridge, away from his pain.

When Peyton finally caught up with him, he was standing in the River Court. His face was turned up to the sky and his eyes were squinting in the glare of the sunlight. He was just standing there almost motionless; his arms hanging like dead weights by his side. She stood next him, without saying a word, just waiting for him respond to her presence.

"Knew what, Nate?" she asked, gently. Her tone had changed to motherly and she fought the urge to hug him when he was looking so forlorn for she knew that if she did, he would just push her away. He didn't want her. He never wanted her. Not even when they were dating. The one he wanted was a million miles away and didn't want him back. Or maybe she wanted him, but she definitely didn't need him.

"That I loved her" he said, matter-of-factly.

She shook her head, and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you tell me?".

He shrugged off her hand silently and continued staring at the sky. Then his gaze drifted to the basketball net.

"I was standing right here on this spot. It was a few days after Lucas's car accident. Remember that?" he asked. Peyton nodded and he continued "She was mad at me because she had just found out that I used her to hurt Lucas. Truth is I stopped using her the day we had our first tutoring session".

Peyton felt her heart break as the tone of his voice. _Do you see what you did?_ She felt like screaming at Haley. _You broke him. You, with all your selfishness broke him._

"We hadn't talked in awhile, maybe two days the most. But the hours during those two days was like an eternity for me. I came down here because I had to stop thinking about her. So I started playing basketball, and was working on my free throws, when five minutes later, I realized that nothing I hit went in". He laughed humorlessly. "Can you believe it? Me, lose concentration while playing basketball?" he laughed again but it was bitter and sarcastic. "And that's when I realized that I loved her. Because she mattered more to me than this" he said, gesturing to the court.

He was silent for awhile. He seemed to forget that she was even there. She stared at him, wiling him to speak but he kept mute. She diverted her attention to the river behind the court. The last time she had been here was with Jake. And Jenny.

She knew that Nathan loved Haley so much more than Peyton and Jake had loved each other, but their love was real too. And she would never have him back. No matter how much she cried herself to sleep, no matter how many times she prayed. He was out of her life and determined to stay out of it. In a way, she and Nathan were connected. People always leave and they were the ones who stayed behind to clean up the mess. To pick up the pieces, in this case their broken hearts.

"I never gave a damn about you" he suddenly spoke up as if he suddenly remembered she was there. Not in a harsh tone, but objectively like he was trying to assess himself. "I never wanted you, never needed you. I don't think I even like you that much" he shrugged. "It was all about status quo. Basketball star, cheerleader. Just fitted that way. When we finally broke up, I only wanted to try and get you back to stick it to Lucas" he said, without feeling in his voice. Peyton kept silent, she didn't need to hear this, she already knew. She always knew.

"That night of the Boy Toy Auction, do you remember?" he asked. Peyton nodded her head but he didn't even look at her. "I told you that I would always have feelings for you" he laughed bitterly. "I lied. I realized that I was falling fast and hard for Hales and I was scared. I wanted to pretend to myself that she wasn't that important but she already meant the world to me. So, I tried convincing myself that I had feelings for you to push away my feelings for her" he continued monotonously. "Look how that turned out".

"Nate" she placed a hand on his arm. He shook her hand away immediately almost angrily "No, didn't you hear what I just said?" he asked, sharply, moving away from her. "You don't matter, Peyton" he said. "You don't". And with that, he turned and walked away.

He looked up at the sky, the calming color of blue darkening to a mixture of different colors, as the sun sank into the horizon. He frowned, he hadn't realized that it was so late. He couldn't believe that it was only that morning had he ran happily to Haley's apartment, wanting to take her back. It seemed like he had aged since than, like he was no longer naïve and young but broken and secluded.

Nathan sighed, he couldn't put off going home any longer. He didn't have anywhere he wanted to be. He walked on until he saw a side road on his left. He hesitated as if he was contemplating his options then he turned left with a defeated sigh.

He stopped in front of a house, and stared through the window. A happy family was settling down to eat, laughing and joking as the children fought about where they got to seat and the mother came in wearing an apron and clutching a dish. The father was sitting in the head, reading a paper but he put in down the moment he saw his wife and smiled. The sight brought back memories of a past life of Nathan's. Not his childhood but his life with Haley. This scene in front of him was always what he pictured for Haley and him in ten years. Annulled and living with his estranged parents was not on his list.

He turned away, suddenly feeling sick. He walked on and soon spotted his house at the end of the block. It was the biggest one in the block. And also the saddest. It was proof that money didn't buy happiness. Inside lived two people who were married but hated each other more than hell itself and he was the rope the two of them tried to pull away from each other.

He walked up the driveway, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his jeans. He trudged up the stairs lethargically and braced himself in front of the door. He walked in and immediately there was the voice of his father calling him.

"Nathan!" Dan said, frowning as the sight of him. "Where have you been?".

Nathan blinked, confused. "Don't you remember?" Dan scowled. "We are supposed to be leaving to the airport soon". Suddenly it dawned on Nathan. His father's world renowned business partner was moving to Tree Hill. His daughter was arriving first and it was their duty to pick her up. He and his wife would be arriving the next day for he needed to make a stop at San Francisco first.

"Oh yeah" Nathan mumbled barely coherent. Dan just ignored him and turned his attention to the top of the stairs. "Deb! We are at the door!" he yelled louder than necessary. Deb appeared at the top of the stairs and walked down slowly. She seemed to enjoy the agitation she saw on Dan's face. Minutes later, Nathan found himself sitting in the backseat of one of their cars, staring out at the sky.

He had never considered himself a thinker nor was he a dreamer. He never interpreted life more than he needed to, never judged himself, never wondered about death. But lately he found himself thinking a lot, examining things more, examining himself more. He had always considered himself good looking and he thought he was a great catch. He was self confident to the point of being arrogant but that was the old him. The new him never felt so low in his life.

They sat through the car journey in stony silence and it was the most pleasant experience he could remember having with his parents. Soon, they were standing in the airport, his dad holding a dorky signboard with his business partner's daughter's name. They had waited about ten minutes when a beautiful girl in designer clothes walked up to them, trailing a large suitcase behind her.

"Hi, Mr. Scott?" she asked tentatively as she approached them.

"Hi. You must be Ron Gattina's daughter" Dan said warmly, shaking hands with her. "Welcome to Tree Hill" he said, smiling at her like he had never been so happier in his life. He pushed Deb in front of him lovingly. "This is my loving wife, Deb". Deb and the girl greeted one another pleasantly. "And this is my son" Dan said, clapping a hand on Nathan's shoulder like he was proud of him.

Nathan finally fixed his gaze on the girl in front of him and rearranged his face into a convincing smile. "Hi, Nathan Scott".

The girl smiled back. "I'm Rachel Gattina".


	8. Marry Me, I'm Lonely

Haley stared out the window, her mind adrift as she listened to the steady rhythm of the pounding rain. The trees and cars outside the window all passed her by in a blur as she watched the raindrops slide down the window. As she sat in the car, her arms hugging her knapsack tightly and her hand propping up her chin, the rain picked up and soon water had flooded the streets and the sky was nothing more than a grey haze. As the car moved along the streets, the wheels skid and every once in a while a tiny wave of water splashed the windows.

Haley sighed and leaned her forehead against the window. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the throbbing ache in her head. It never went away; it seemed to have taken hostage of her mind rendering her incapable of thinking clearly. She opened her eyes and stared out at the streets wondering where they were. She had been on this road, a million times in her life probably but now it seemed dark and gloomy and so unfamiliar.

"Excuse mister" she said as she leaned forward in her seat. "But how long more until we reach?"

The taxi driver looked at his rearview mirror at her and said "I thought you've been here before miss" in a thick British accent.

"I have" she said as she looked out the front window. "But I can't seem to remember where to go".

He looked at his watch and then at the speedometer. "I reckon we should reach in another ten minutes, miss".

She nodded and smiled as she leaned back on the back seat of the cab. She drummed her fingers impatiently on the arm rest as she waited to see a familiar place. Everything seemed so foreign to her that she wondered if she really was in Tree Hill.

"Did you grow up here miss?" the taxi driver suddenly asked as they stopped at a light.

"Wha-... Oh, yes I did. Lived in the same house for seventeen years actually" she said, smiling at him. "Actually sixteen and a half. I moved out a few months back" she said as she looked down at her feet.

"I just moved here a year ago actually. Nice town, quiet place compared to London actually. Tree Hill is a good place to start over" he said as he met her eyes in the rearview mirror. She suddenly felt conscious; it was almost like he knew her history.

She hesitated. "Not really. I mean not if your past is here". She nervously fingered her empty ring finger; she did it out of habit mostly. What she didn't realize was she actually touched that finger because she hoped it wouldn't be empty the next time she did.

When she realized that the taxi driver had kept quite, she leaned her head against the worn out seats of the car and closed her eyes wearily. Her thoughts drifted away...away from the old yellow cab she was sitting in... away from the terrible ache in her head...and it finally found something to recall...that dreaded day Lucas had told her Nathan had gotten married...the day she would always remember...because it was the day her head started to ache...

"_I never wanted to get my heart broken by a guy" she whispered as she sat on the small bench by the wall on the roof of Karen's Café. "I mean I always thought I would never have to worry about... experiencing a broken heart because" she paused, her voice breaking and her eyes narrowing as she tried to stop the flow of tears. "because I was Tutor Girl and I had my life planned out for me for years and..." she sniffed as she looked up at the darkness the night always brought. "Falling in love and getting my heart broken was never part of the plan"._

_Lucas squeezed her shoulders gently. "Nothing works according to a plan, Hales. Life brings you unexpected surprises and you just have to learn to take one day at a time" he said as she leaned on him for support. _

_They were silent for a while as they watched the moon reflect its light on the roof. Haley could see the miniature golf course she and Lucas had set up again just a few days back, the Casper the Friendly Ghost statue in the corner and the water balloons they had filled up just hours ago in advance before they started playing. There was something about being up in this roof, in that place, leaning on the comfort of her oldest friend that filled with her with a sense of comfort that she hadn't felt for months now._

"_Lucas?" she suddenly asked._

"_Hmm?" he said, as he stared up at the sky._

"_What happens next?" Haley asked as she looked up at his still profile._

_He was looking for the evening star in the heavens above so he missed her wistful tone and sad brown eyes. "What do you mean, Hales?"_

"_In the story you were telling me" she said, half jokingly. She couldn't help wishing it was just a story; and not the reality of what was happening to her husband. Ex-husband, she chastised herself. "What happens after he meets her?"_

_Lucas finally looked down at her and sighed. She was looking at him with a slight smile playing on her mouth but her eyes betrayed her hurt. "I don't want to hurt you, Haley. Are you sure you want to know?"_

"_Yes" _

_He hesitated knowing he should get it over with. But he took his time and wrapped his arm around her. "I can't find the evening star. Remember how we used to play that game on who could spot it first?" When Haley nodded, he continued "but now I can't seem to find it anyway. For all we know, the star could have died"._

"_It didn't die. It's still there" she said softly. "You just can't see it"._

"_Too true, my friend" Lucas said as he looked down at her. "Too true". He paused for a moment, wondering where he should start. He held her closer and then began talking._

"So Rachel, I heard you're thinking of pursuing a career in fashion. Is that right?" Deb asked over dinner that night.

"Yes, Mrs. Scott" Rachel said, smiling as she showed her perfect pearly whites. "I was actually thinking of taking up business as well. Daddy says I should have get my 'foundation' first as he calls it before getting a second degree in fashion".

"Smart man, your Daddy" Dan chuckled. "Pass the rice, Nathan".

Nathan passed Dan the rice silently.

"So Nathan, I heard you're a big hotshot basketball player" Rachel said friendly.

Nathan nodded and didn't say anything at first but Dan kicked him under the table. Glaring at his father, Nathan muttered "my father's tends to over exaggerate my abilities"

"No, it's actually my dad who told me" she said, smiling. "He says he can't wait to meet you. He actually played basketball when he was young"

"Really?" Nathan said, trying to find this conversation interesting.

Rachel was about to open her mouth to speak when suddenly her phone rang. "I'm so sorry, please excuse me" she said as she answered the phone. "Hello?" she said as she walked out of the room.

"Nathan!" Dan hissed as soon as she was out of ear shot. "Stop being rude to our guest"

"Why? Because her daddy's rich and will make you big bucks" Nathan taunted. He pushed his seat out and stood up. "I'm out of here" he said, angrily as he walked to the door. He nearly whacked into Rachel who was making her way back to the room.

"Sorry" he muttered as he stepped aside to let her pass. When she didn't, he looked at her face confused. Tears were falling down her cheeks and she looked stricken. "What's wrong?"

Rachel opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She swallowed then said "The plane that my parents were on just crashed. They just found their bodies"

Nathan's eyes widened in shock. Rachel started crying uncontrollably. Nathan looked at his parents for help, wondering what he should do but Deb and Dan sat at the kitchen table looking shocked.

Nathan hesitated before pulling Rachel in for a hug as she cried into his shoulder.

_Two hours later_

"I like it here".

"Yeah, it's a nice place".

"It's so peaceful" Rachel said as she hugged her knees to her chest. She was glad she wore a thick sweatshirt because the sun's warmth had disappeared and the night had brought with it a silent chill.

"I sometimes come here to think" Nathan said as he sat next to her on the picnic bench. "I like watching the ripples of the river, it puts me at ease. But you can't see it now because it's too dark"

"So, do you play here a lot?" she asked as she looked at the River Court.

"Sometimes but most days I play in the gym in school"

They were silent for a while lost in their thoughts. Nathan was worried that Rachel would start crying again as she had for the last two hours. Dan and Deb had called people to inform them and Nathan had been lift in charge to take care of her. Which he had done so ungrudgingly because he felt bad for her. He shouldn't have been so mean to her earlier on, she was a nice person.

"I can't believe I'm alone now" she whispered as she looked up at the sky. "The world seems so vast and there are so many people around but I'm all alone"

Nathan was at a lost for words. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't even make himself feel better; how could he make someone else feel that way? And besides, se wasn't the only one who was alone. He was as alone as her in the cruel world. He looked up at the dark sky; he used to love looking up at the sky when Haley had left him. Okay maybe not love because at that time in his life, every part of his body was incapable of loving or any other emotion but he felt at peace staring at the night. He figured because no matter how far apart he and Haley were, they were still sleeping underneath the same stars.

_Damn her_ he suddenly thought as the pain of losing her choked him momentarily. As he looked at Rachel huddled up beside him, he was reminded of how she too had been betrayed by people she loved. Her guardian was her uncle and when he was told by Nathan's parents that his brother and his sister-in-law and just died, he immediately said that he either couldn't or wanted to take care of his niece. Rachel was truly alone.

"Hey Rachel" Nathan suddenly said. "I've got an idea"

"What?" she asked wearily.

He stood up and kneeled in front of her. She looked down at him surprised. "Marry me?"

_Present day_

"Hey, wait aren't you Haley James?" the cab driver suddenly asked as he scrutinized her in the rearview mirror.

Haley blushed and nodded.

"My daughter loves you!" he exclaimed. "All she does all day is listen to your songs and swoons over your boyfriend"

"He's not my boyfriend" she said, clenching her teeth. _Chill, he doesn't know about Nathan. _She breathed slowly before saying "I'm married actually. Was. Was married".

"Oh, I'm sorry" he said as he looked at the road again, embarrassed. "My wife died a few months back so I know what it feels like"

It was her turn to apologize. "But my husband and I are separated actually. He's still alive. He's just...out of the picture".

The cab driver suddenly chuckled. "You know young people these days really amuse me"

"How so?" she asked, not knowing if she should be annoyed or amused by this sudden turn of emotion on his part.

"They make such messes of their lives and even when they can repair it, they don't. There's too much pride and ego involved and its false pride too. I guess I thought I was like that too but ever since I lost Rose, all I can think of is how I regret not spending enough time with her" he looked at her wisely through the mirror. "You know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

"Yes" she whispered, wondering if I was that transparent.

"You should do something about it then. Guilt and regret knowing that there's nothing you can do is horrible thing" he said as he pulled over at her destination. "Pray you never feel it"

She nodded numbly before stepping out of the car. She walked to the passenger window and counted some money before handing it to him. "Thank you" she said as she handed it to him. She pulled out an autographed CD too and gave it to him. "Your daughter would love this".

He smiled at her before rolling up the window and driving away. Seeing the car leave made her think that _there goes one more person in the world that I'll never see again. _

She sighed before walking away from the road. Her feet moved in a matter of habit as she stared at the ocean before her. The gentle movement of the waves and the slow wind howling against her neck was all she could remember of the walk. Finally, she looked up and stared at the sun setting at the end of the ocean, the sky now a pale orange as it met with the line of the sea. And it was so beautiful, it made her cry.

But she didn't stop because she hadn't reached yet. After a few more minutes of walking, she finally stopped and looked around as she remembered...

_Someday, this beach might wash away…the oceans may dry…the sun could dim _

_but on that day, I'll still be loving you. Always and forever. I promise you Haley. _

"Always and forever" she whispered as she stared at the construction site where just months ago had been her wedding site. She wondered why she was so sad about her wedding site being ruined when her marriage didn't exist anymore.

_Two days later_

"I'm really glad you moved back here with me" Brooke said as she walked into the room already dressed. She sat down on the kitchen stool saying "besides everything else, I always missed waking up to the smell of bacon".

"At least someone appreciates my bacon" Haley said, smiling as she turned around to dump the bacon on a plate. "Lucas always complains about how oily they are and how much cholesterol they have"

"So good" Brooke muttered as she picked one up and bit into it. "Lucas is such an old lady; these are awesome"

"Anyway, I got to go get dressed. Save some for me" Haley said as she walked to the room they shared.

"Don't count on it, babe" Brooke called out as she took another streaky piece of bacon.

"Hey Brooke" Haley said as she stood in front of her suitcase. "What outfit do outfit do you think says 'I might have left school pretending to be a rock star but I'm back now and I just want to go back being Tutor Girl'"

Brooke popped her head into the bedroom. "Your beige slacks and red tank top with that cap hanging behind the bathroom door"

Haley looked up skeptical. "Not the blue jean jacket, white shirt and blue jeans?"

Brooke scoffed. "Only if you're ten and applying for a job. Or twelve and Mummy dressed you. Or a fifty year old trying to act like you're fifteen"

"I get your point" Haley said, dryly as she looked through her suitcase for the outfit.

"Anyway, don't you think you should start unpacking babe?" Brooke asked gently.

"Not just yet" Haley said pretending she didn't know where Brooke was going with the conversation.

"Well, it's just" she hesitated. "You guys aren't getting back together, hon. He's married now" she said as she walked into the room and sat down next to Haley.

"I know he is" Haley paused. "There's something I wanted to ask you. I couldn't ask Luke because he's a guy and doesn't really know about these things. Anyway, what's he like with her? What's she like?"

"Who? Rachel?" when Haley nodded, Brooke paused wondering how she was supposed to answer without hurting Haley's feelings. "He's...um..."

"You can tell me Brooke, I'm not going to sit in a corner and cry" Haley reassured. "I'm all cried out"

"Well, he's comfortable with her and they get along well" Brooke said, looking at her best friend's reaction. Haley's bottom lip trembled and alarmed, Brooke quickly added "But I wouldn't really know, I don't spend much time with them"

Haley burst out laughing. "You actually fell for the trembling bottom lip? Brooke! That's only supposed to work to boys!"

Brooke grinned. "Does it?"

"I don't know. I never had to use it before" Haley explained. "But the Bambi eyes don't work. I've tried. I nearly got into detention because I tried the Bambi eyes on Mr. Turner and he thought I was trying to mock him"

Brooke nodded. "He does have really big eyes" she said, sympathetically.

"Anyway, what's she like?" Haley asked curiously.

"She's...funny" Brooke said slowly.

"Funny?" Haley asked skeptically.

"In a very obvious dumb way funny. And nice" Brooke added quickly "But not _that _nice. She's pretty but not as pretty as you of course" she continued slowly.

"Funny, nice and pretty, she sounds like an original" Haley said dryly.

"Well, I haven't spent much time with her. Out of loyalty to you" Brooke said pointedly. "If you want to know about her, then ask Peyton".

"Blondie already picked a side then" Haley said sarcastically trying to hide her hurt. She grabbed her clothes and headed for the bathroom to change.

"There are no sides Hales. Anyway, she doesn't even know about you" Brooke added as she picked up a brush and started doing her hair.

"Really?" Haley asked as she poked her head around the bathroom door. "But isn't it stated when you get married again about your previous marriages?"

"But you guys didn't get divorced. You got an _annulment_" Brooke reminded her.

"Oh yeah" Haley said thoughtfully as her head disappeared behind the door again. "What's Peyton doing hanging around with her anyway? Is she_ that_ mad at me?"

"Oh come on Hales. She's not doing it to you, she's doing it for Nathan" Brooke said as she stood in front of the mirror and examined her outfit. White long skirt and green blouse with matching sandals. Good enough, she thought she leaned against the wall next to the bathroom wall and waited for Haley to come out. "He hasn't had much support since they got married"

"And that's supposed to bother me?" Haley asked as she walked out of the room. She sighed realizing how mean it sounded. "I'm sorry; I'm not mad at him for marrying her. I'm mad at myself for leaving, for not being there for him when he needed me. And I hate this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach. And I keep having these...nightmares when I sleep...nightmares of their wedding, of him...kissing her".

"It'll be okay, Haley" Brooke said softly as she hugged her. "Things will get better".

"I hope they will. So, nobody's really been there for him since he got married?" she asked concerned as she put on her sneakers.

"Well, except for Dan who's been over the moon about it since she's like super rich and is going to get all this money when she turns twenty one" Brooke said as she looked for her clogs. She peered under the bed. "Even Lucas isn't talking to him" she regretted saying it as soon as it left her mouth.

"What?" Haley asked surprised as she looked up from tying her sneakers.

Brooke made a show of looking around the room for the shoes and pretending not to have heard her.

"Brooke?" Haley asked slowly.

"Okay fine! If Lucas asked, you didn't hear it from me. Anyway Lucas and Nathan got into this huge fight a day before Nathan married Rachel. Lucas was telling Nathan how irresponsible he was being of marrying someone he doesn't know and Nathan was yelling back that for once, Lucas should stay out of his life. Lucas got mad because he was just trying to help and yelled back something like 'maybe you're right because if I wasn't around, you wouldn't have met Haley and wouldn't be the broken loser you are now'. That was the first time Luke mentioned you after you left for tour the second time and Nathan was so mad, he punched him. Needless to say, Luke didn't come for the wedding and Tim became the new best man".

Haley was shocked for a moment and she looked down. "Wow. They haven't talked since?"

Brooke shook her head. "Not a word had passed between them. Whenever they're in the same room together, they just ignore each other"

"I feel so bad for Nathan" Haley said slowly. "Lucas isn't talking to him and Dan's cheering him on... I'm glad at least Peyton's there for him" she said as she walked out of the room.

"And she's going to come around. Trust me. She's just had a bad year" Brooke said as she followed Haley out of the room. "She's still your friend you know".

"But you're not apparently" Haley said as she looked at the empty plate that until recently had been filled with bacon. "How many did you eat?"

Brooke looked embarrassed. "The same amount you made. I'll buy more. I promise"

Haley laughed. "It's okay. I'm just having coffee today. I'm too nervous to eat"

"First day in school jitters? Babe, its January" Brooke grinned.

"Well, it's my first day" Haley reminded. "Of the school year anyway. It's not that. I'm just wondering how things are going to be with me and Nathan. Given what you just told me, I want us to be friends, you know. If we can't be anything more. I'd like to be there for him and you know... support the marriage. I know what it's like when the people you love don't support when you do something for yourself"

"Like when they gave you an ultimatum and then crash a racecar" Brooke said solemnly.

"Shut up" Haley laughed. "I wasn't even thinking about the tour just then. I was thinking about the time I got married. Everyone made such a big deal about how we were too young and would never last"

"Well babe, they _were _right" Brooke reminded her.

Haley grabbed the plate in front of her and tossed it into the dishwasher. "No more bacon for you, Davis"

"I take it back" Brooke cried. "I take it back! Just don't take away my bacon!"

"I was thinking of inviting your parents over for dinner tomorrow night?" Rachel asked as she hugged Nathan's arm and looked up at him. "What do you think?"

"I think I'm busy tomorrow night actually" Nathan said as he adjusted his knapsack on his right shoulder.

"Why? What do you have on?" Rachel asked curiously.

"I don't know, but I'll make plans" Nathan laughed. "But seriously, there is no way you're inviting the Scotts for the dinner tomorrow"

"But, honey, don't you realize we are the Scotts too?" Rachel grinned.

"Yeah but we're the cool hip Scotts and they're the senior nagging ear splitting Scotts that make you want to stab yourself until you bleed to death" Nathan said cheerfully.

"Oh, come on. Your mother's not that bad" Rachel said as they continued walking down the school hallway.

"No but Dan's bad enough for the both of them" Nathan said truthfully.

"Well that's why we are having dinner tomorrow, to prove that everyone had some good in them. You should spend more time with him, I'm sure you'll realize he's not that bad" Rachel admonished.

"Oh, but he is Rach" Nathan said. "You haven't see his true colors yet"

"Well, so far he's been nothing but nice to me and...Oh my God, that's such a cute top!" she exclaimed as she saw a random girl wearing a Zara top.

Nathan started to laugh at his wife's quirky habit of changing the subject to fashion anytime she felt like it when he suddenly spotted two people coming towards him. He blinked in shock; he thought he would never see her again. She looked exactly the same as she did the last time he saw her; her loose blond hair falling in light curls over her shoulder and her bright brown eyes still gleaming with wisdom as they reflected her feelings as she wanted to show them to the world. He always thought of how well she was at hiding her feelings from everyone around her. He figured it was part of the actress in her but he could always tell what her moods were. He could tell how she was feeling just by the way she walked, by the strides she took and the curve of her shoulders.

But when he saw her at that moment, in that place, he had no idea what she was thinking. He figured it was the shock or maybe she wasn't the same person he knew. But as she walked closer to him, he wondered if he was the same person she knew.

She finally noticed her and stopped short directly in front of him. They stared at each other in silence as Brooke looked away and Rachel kept staring at some random girl's outfit. And for one moment as they stared into each other's eyes, lost to the world, they both were transported in time to a place they could barely remember.

_I'll help you on one condition. Leave Lucas alone_

_Just don't say I never gave you anything. _

Without thinking, his eyes met the bracelet on her wrist, the colorful ugly bracelet he found in a Cracker Jack box.

_I'm like Math. I don't care... Nothing you'll do will surprise me anymore..._

_I can't help pushing you...Just like I can't help that I fell in love with you... I love you Haley._

His eyes trailed up to meet her eyes again and for a moment, he thought he saw tears gleaming in them.

_I love you too..._


End file.
